Sunday, October 20, 2013

The Sea

It’s night and before me stretches a great expanse of the Mediterranean sea. It’s openness and vastness casts a shadow over me and forces me to realize I am still struggling against a sea of calm.

It’s this sea of calm that I am fighting against that brings me to the edge of the ocean at this moment in time. Have you ever felt it? Ever wondered why we fight with the flow of events? Why we become so aligned with a single purpose that we fight an entire ocean?

It is here that I am standing desperately trying to let go of my iron grip on things that are not only beyond my control, but to let go of my iron grip on things that do not wish to be controlled, nay cannot be controlled either by forces inside themselves or by my meager grip.

This is the most difficult path I have come upon. To let go of things I cannot change. It is not my nature to let go. It is my nature to fight. It is my nature to win. And I am good at that. I am good at bending the world to my whim and winning. I am also good at losing, at struggling so hard for acceptance that I remain in battle too long, that I remain enchanted too long, that I remain engaged in a fight that cannot be won, a fight that has no winner or loser, but in a fight that only burns through energy and time and space.

So here is my question … to myself this time: “How can I recognize when to let go and when to fight and how to know which is which”

See you on the wire

-- Steven Cardinale

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