I was engaged in a discussion with a very close friend the other day and I heard the language of judgment coming from her. You know the words: "I should have ...", "What will he/she/they think ...", "If only I ...", "I don't know, maybe I'm wrong ..." And so many others.
Of course when I hear the language of judgment I can feel the thoughts of our internal critic rising to the surface. I already made a post on Judgment, but this is a piece that keeps coming back again and again. And it is the language piece that has struck me this time. The language of thought is something I blogged about previously, but it seems to be a key in understanding behavior. If we can understand our language and then believe that our language reflects our thoughts (especially our unconscious thoughts which drive our behaviors and actions) then we might just get a glimpse into the baggage we carry that is causing us to judge (both ourselves and others).
I'm not saying that judgment necessarily is a bad thing. We can all easily judge a criminal and say that their actions are inappropriate. That is not the type of judging I'm talking about. What I'm referring to is the kind of judging that we all do and are unaware that we are doing it ... EXCEPT WHEN WE SPEAK FREELY IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT.
Our language betrays us. Our language for an instant when we are not censoring ourselves, allows our true thoughts to come through and allows us to see clearly (which is much harder than you think) and look in the mirror to see what we are judging.
So my challenge to you is to recognize when you are making a judgment ... and don't judge that judgment, simply see it as a judgment. We'll come back to dealing with the judgment ... for now, it should be enough to try and recognize that the judgment is there.
See you on the wire
- Steven Cardinale
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