When you stop trying to control tomorrow and surrender to the moment.
Read that line again. It's important ... probably because it is more true than either you or I would like to admit.
We've all felt it in one way or another. It happens in sports and physical activities all the time. You can't control where the golf ball goes once you've hit it. Hell you can't even control where the golf ball is going to go BEFORE you hit it. The only thing you can do is be in the moment. Practice your swing without be massively focused on what your doing right and wrong. And then just swing. If you're in your head when you swing on the course ... when you haven't surrendered to the physics of the moment ... well you know ... the golf ball is all over the place.
I do some of the more non-traditional sports, like Jiu Jitsu, Archery and I experience this almost daily. When I'm trying too hard, when I'm worried about winning the match or hitting the bullseye (trying to control the outcome), when I'm not surrendering to the moment, I'm brittle, stiff, and usually end up missing the target completely or losing the round.
Why is surrendering so hard? Surrendering to a physical event; Surrendering to another person (especially if that person is not "supposed" to have control by society's standards ... such as your kids); Surrendering to a force larger than you. Are we so tied to control because it is too scary to let go just in case something happens we're not ready for? But isn't that control an illusion?
So here's my question: "When was the last time you truly surrendered, if only for a moment?" Gave up your illusionary control and melted into the moment? Do you remember? Wasn't it an amazing experience? Can you be more conscious in yourself and find another moment to surrender to?
I guess I'd like to surrender more to the stuff I can't control and just experience it. And if I can do that just a bit more every day, maybe I'll experience the euphoria of sweet surrender more often.
See you on the wire
-- Steven Cardinale
1 comment:
Interesting concept, but I think you're missing something in your examination. I've been "surrendering" for almost 3 years now...and in my experiences, it is not "surrender" as much as it is awareness (at least in my case). Sure, surrender is the first step, but that only lasts so long before you realize that you can influence outcome with out being in total control. The powerful influence neither controls you nor you it; but you work together; like riding the dorsal fin of a Great White Shark.
Take, for instance, surfing. When you first go out surfing, you try to control the ocean; you fight it and end up with a stomach full of sea water and a face full of sand.
The next step is surrender; you let the power of the waves buffet you about with the ability to stay relaxed; without struggle, and thus avoid the stomach full of sea water and face full of sand.
But the next step is riding that wave successfully and joyfully. When you ride it, you certainly do not control it, but you can influence it's affect on you while you honor it's greater power over you. Once you reach this level, you can not control exactly where you will go or what the experience will be; the experience is still totally open; yet you are not "surrendering" either because you are working with the greater influence rather than succumbing to it.
Once you pass this level, you find that each wave takes on it's own personality. You begin to recognize patterns in how the waves wash ashore and each wave takes on a life of it's own. At that stage, you are working with that powerful force; it is your peer. You don't control it, nor does it totally control you; and the outcome is totally open for new experiences.
What has happened in this process is your awareness has shifted. By the time the wave becomes you 'peer', and you can recognize what kind of wave your in store for before it breaks, you have achieved a heightened awareness which extends beyond "dominance"; which is how we normally define control. When you cease trying to dominate the wave, and work with it; as a close personal friend of that wave, then the experiences you can achieve break the glass ceiling of "joy".
This type of process works for anything I think...if you pay attention and let go of the need to dominate. Letting go of the need to dominate, however, does not mean you need to surrender; instead of surrendering to the greater power, you become it's 'peer' and it becomes your ally.
Like riding the dorsal fin of a Great White Shark; you have not surrendered to the shark but have become a friend to, and peer of it; allowing it's power to extend through you without feeling the need to dominate it or it you- and all the other sea creature will get out of your way....
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