Defenses ... we all have them ... Websters defines it as "a means of protecting" or as "an attempt to retain" coming from "the feminine past participle dēfendere meaning 'to ward off'". Having defenses makes sense when we are defending something valuable. Being protective and defending is a natural behavior. But the question really is:
"What exactly are we defending?"
Many times we are simply defending our old ways of doing things. Defending the status quo. Defending how things have been. Defending against the feeling of fear when we get pushed outside our comfort zone. The automatic behavior of defending what we already know; how things currently are; holding tight to what is; against the fear of the unknown is not defending something of value. It is holding on to the past and doing what you've always done; it is more hiding than defending.
If you have to stop being who you are to become who you want to be, then it makes sense that you will fight that transformation ... you will defend against the change. We have all sorts of justifications, rationalizations, and language that we believe supports a defense, when in reality is just a smoke screen against being scared.
So I guess the questions are:
"What walls do you put up that stop you from changing?"
"What situations do you put yourself in that will require you to stay where you are?"
"What language do you use to convince yourself you are defending something when you are really just not changing?"
See you on the wire
-- Steven Cardinale
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