Everything Changes

Sometimes things change.  Sometimes it’s different.  Sometimes something is lost.  I’ve always been good with change; with being comfortable being uncomfortable.  But sometimes going from where you are to where you’re going to be can be … spikey.

I was having this talk with a friend of mine: The talk about change.  The talk about how since everything changes around us, but we really can only affect ourselves; what is change really about (see my post on risking everything)?

I’ve been listening to the song “Everything Changes” (http://grooveshark.com/#/s/Everything+Changes/lKNVB?src=5) from the band Staind .

There is a great phrase in the song:

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?”

So maybe change is not about them, but more about us, since it’s only us that can change.  Maybe it’s about changing our point of view. About adapting to new circumstances.  About thinking anew.

I’m not big on just accepting the status quo, the current circumstances, or accepting something less than amazing, less than memorable.  I tend to fight changes that I don’t think are spectacular.

Change is not about accepting a tomorrow that’s not spectacular, and it’s certainly not about accepting a today that could be so much more effortless (see my entry on being effortless). Maybe change is about moving from where you are today to a tomorrow you’re in control of: your new POV. A new tomorrow that can and will be spectacular.

No questions today – kinda not in the mood - It’s been a spikey few days.

All or Nothing

Have you ever loved some-thing. some-one, some-idea so much but couldn't quite get there?

I'm not talking about commitment. Commitment is different than getting there.  Commitment is about forever, and if you know anything about me, I'm not sure I completely buy into the "from now on, forever lasting" thing.

Getting there means passion.  It means belief.  It means risking.  Getting there means going 100 mph.  Not 10 or 20, but 100 mph.  Going all the way.  Getting engaged.  Getting passionate.  That's what it takes to really make a difference; in your life or anywhere else.

If you know me at all, you know I'm kinda an All or Nothing person.  Either I want to do something with every fiber of my being or I'm out.  Not really much in between.  It's the quote from the movie The Shawshank Redemption: "Get busy living, or get busy dying."  That's me, either I'm falling in love or falling out of love.  Don't spend much time kinda, sorta, doing things.

The middle, the thinking about it, the kinda, sorta doing things gets you nowhere while you think you are actually moving.  The middle lets you stay in the pretty lie and believe you are doing something that counts when in reality you're not going anywhere.  You're not staying, you're not leaving, you're just pretending.

So here's my question: "What idea do you know you absolutely dream about but you're not 100% passionate about every day?"  "Who do you desperately love but don't express it fully?" "Where do you want to go: emotionally, physically, spiritually, that you haven't let go to yet?"

Get passionate.  There is no other choice if you want to make a mark on yourself and on others.

Here's my challenge to you.  Find that one thing, the one person, that one idea that you know you could be crazy passionate about, and just for this week, get there: be passionate, be 100 mph, be ALL.  Be passionate EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Don't let the world get in your way. And see how far your passion, your ALL takes you.

See you on the wire

-- Steven Cardinale

Saying Goodbye

I met an old friend of mine today and we got to talking about Saying Goodbye.  Actually we were talking about Seth Godin's book 'The Dip". The good thing about old friends is that you pick up conversations where you left off.  And we've had deep interesting discussions about so many things, including "What's Next."  And that lead to a discussion about when to leave "What's Now."

That's a tough one.  No one wants to lose, or fail, or stop trying.  No one wants to say: "it's over."  But as Seth Godin talks about, quiting, leaving, failing, saying goodbye is not just a good thing, it's a necessary thing to get you over "What's Now" and on to "What's Next" (see my post on "Who are you?")

So when do you say goodbye? When is the struggle just a dip vs. when are you on the path to cratering?  That's the real question, because the dip looks just like a crater right before you get to it. So when is it darkest just before the dawn and you should just stay up, hold on, and fall in love with the sunrise about to happen?

I think it's a discussion of end points vs. process.  You won't know that's on the other side when you have to make a decision.  You won't know if: the business would have been great, the boy/girl would have been the love of your life, the trip would have changed your perceptions of the world.  You only know what you're experiencing right now.

So when is it time to "Say Goodbye"?

You say goodbye when "the story no longer rings true".

Read that again.  It's important.  It doesn't matter what the future holds.  But when you no longer believe that

* the idea matters

* you're still in love

* that path is breathtaking

When you no longer believe it, when the story is no longer true, it's time to "Say Goodbye".  And you say goodbye without regards to how amazing or terrible things might be in the future.

So here's my question: "What are you doing right now that you no longer believe in?"  Anything?  Nothing? Is it an activity? A pretend dream? A person? Have you asked yourself that question lately? That's the real trick ... having the internal strength to really, really ask the question.

It's tough to take a hard look and clean out your drawers.  But if you do you might just find some space to go from "What's Now" to "What's Next".

See you on the wire

-- Steven Cardinale