Hold On Tight

I saw this Google ad at the San Francisco airport. It said:

"Let go of old attachments"

I'm not sure how much more of a sign I need than a billboard from Google saying "stop holding on so tight to your outcome." But I figured that is enough of a clue that I should pay attention, sit up, and listen.

Why do we hold on so tight to our imagined future or our dreamy past? Why is it so hard to live in the moment. That's NOT to say not to think about and plan for the future, or remember the fond experiences of the past: It IS to say that we consistently live in the past or the future and rarely experience the amazing joy that is right now.

The Buddhist's say that living without conclusions requires courage. That living without attachments to the outcome is terribly frightening. That our monkey minds keep spinning to force us to avoid the present moment.

My language is more tactical. I say: "you can't make $1 Million" or "you can't lose 10 lbs."  It means that

The ends are not something you are in control of

Read that again, it's important to get into your gut: "The ends are not something you are in control of." ... ever .. you only get this moment to work with.

If you knew how to make the money or drop the weight, you would have already done it.  What you can do is in the present moment.  In this moment you CAN call your customers, provide amazing value and the $$$ will appear.  In this moment you CAN eat healthy and exercise and you will lose weight.

Buddhist's say our monkey minds use the dreams of the past to ensure our Ego's existence since the past requires thought and language in our minds so we craft stories to fit our needs (this is a fundamental flaw with eyewitness testimony, see The Invisible Gorilla). So we relive moments in our heads all around what we dream we did.

Buddhist's say our monkey minds use the illusions of future plans to ensure our Ego's ongoing existence since planning for a future that is probably unrealistically off target requires thought and language in our minds.

So here's my question: "How much of your mind's energy do you spend in the past or the future?  How much of today's journey are you missing by being in your head?"  I know for me, I spend the vast majority of my time looking and thinking about the top of the mountain so I never pay attention to the steps that are getting me there.  So try, just for a day, to keep yourself centered.  Pay attention to this moment.  The keys on your keyboard, the glow of the monitor, the way the chair feels on your butt.  You'll be amazed at how freeing right now can be.

See you on the wire

-- Steven Cardinale

Risking Everything

"Sometimes risking everything is the only choice you have"

That's a quote from the movie "The Air I Breathe".  Maybe it's true; maybe you have to take a risk to get what you truly want (see my posts on Likes and Desire) out of life.  Maybe it takes courage to be more amazing tomorrow than you are today. This post is basically an extension of my last post. It's an exploration of the courage it takes not only to take A risk, but to risk everything ... to kill who you are today to become who you need to be tomorrow (see my post about "Who Are You?") ... so you can taste a bit of something truly sweet.

"Risking everything" is a strange concept. I'm not even sure what everything is. What risking it means (does that mean I could lose it, and if I'm afraid to lose it I'm in my monkey mind, see my last post). And what am I risking everything for? I do feel in my chest the need to take big risks.  The need to find the courage to exchange the known for the unknown, the familiar for the unfamiliar, the comfortable for the uncomfortable, the commonplace for the extraordinary. Courage is to move on to dangerous paths. Life is dangerous and unpredictable. So you must have the courage to risk it all to fully live life.

So here's the question: "What one thing would you risk everything to experience?" It's got to be something that you really want (not like); something that could have a life changing impact on you; something worth risking for; something spectacular.  And why are you afraid to let go and get it?  What fear is stopping you from risking everything? What if you had to have it tomorrow, what would you do? So think about it. How alive would you feel if you could risk everything today for something amazing tomorrow?

See you on the wire

-- Steven Cardinale

All Good Things Must Come To An End

I'm sure you've heard the old saying "All Good Things Must Come To An End."  I recently heard that a couple of times from friends of mine. That got me wondering: Why did they say that?

Why are we consumed by the loss of wonderful things in our lives?

I've been out of balance the past few weeks and I've been trying to regain my equilibrium. So I'm back to reading my Buddhist books (like "The Power of Now") and it hit me.  The worry of loss is all about the chatter your mind is making. According to all the Buddhist texts it's our mind's ego piece making too much noise forcing us to identify with our Monkey Mind, our internal thinker, our internal critic that tells us all the wrong things that can happen in the future and keeps our minds whirling. It's our mind's way of keeping ourselves afraid to (as James Cameron puts it in his TED talk) "understand the limits of possibility."

So how do we have the courage to stop being afraid of loss, of opportunity, of everything? How can we keep our monkey minds quiet and explore the future without being limited by our own preconceptions? I've heard that courage is going into the unknown in spite of all of your fears.  The fears are there but they don't stop you moving (see John McCain's book "Why Courage Matters"). Courage is risking the known for the unknown, the familiar for the unfamiliar, the comfortable for the uncomfortable.

James Cameron's final statement in his TED talk says "Failure is an option, but Fear is not." We will fail, all good things will end, we will be afraid, but we will also succeed in uncommon ways and experience good things that amaze us in ways we cannot even dream of.

So here's my question: "What does your mind tell you can't happen, will come to an end, will fail? What are you afraid of?" Can you just listen to that noise without being consumed by it? What courageous thing could you do to silence that sound?

See you on the wire

-- Steven Cardinale

Coming Home

"I can't wait to get out of here" ... followed by ... "I can't wait to get back home."

You know that need; that push/pull draw that we have to get away from our current selves and into something exotic only to desperately miss the important parts of home. What happens when you go away? Why do we need to "get out of here?"

Maybe it's a way to remind ourselves of what's important; what we're grateful for; a way to "truly miss something only when it's gone" and then feel that rush of coming home and reconnecting. VW retired its Citi car and had a farewell tour that truly touches what it means to miss something (I've never even heard of the car and I miss it already). (I talk about missing in my "I Miss You" post). Maybe getting out of here as fast as you can is our own way to get some distance and not take things for granted (there's a cute post about realizing what we have here). And maybe what we're taking for granted is the best part of ourselves.

Maybe going away from our stuff, our current circumstances, our current rut is a way to not only get distance from the things around us, but to get some distance from ourselves; our current selves at least. As a very dear from of mine so appropriately put it "maybe you have to get lost to be found."  So maybe going away, running away, getting out of here, is more about coming home than it is about leaving this place.

So here's my question: "What are you going away from? And. What do you need to run back to?"  If you can look at this, feel this, get it in your heart maybe you can always be coming home.

See you on the wire

-- Steven Cardinale