The Illusion of the Like

I was thinking about wants and likes, must-have's and nice-to-have's, things that make a difference in your life story vs. those experiences that are just so much noise.

I know they're just words: "want" and "like", but words are so much more than just letters and sounds. Language exposes our thoughts. Words lay bare our beliefs and when we're uncensored give us a glimpse into our true selves.

So "want" and "like" are more than just words. They are your beliefs of what is possible and what your willing to do to create that possibility.

Wants require effort. Wants are out of your reach. Wants require you to challenge what you are willing to do to get there. Wants require you to get up early; get on the plane; take uncomfortable risks; ask better questions; and potentially manifest a new world you never thought possible.

Like are wishes. Likes are daydreams and fantasy talk over coffee. Likes tell you where you're not willing to go. Likes are voyeuristic and let you watch through your mind's eye and suspend disbelief, for a moment. Likes let you pretend that your limitations don't exist.

Likes let you use pretty lies to pretend they are wants. Read that again. It's important. It's the illusion of the like. All you have to do to find out if you're in the illusion is to make your statement extreme (you know "I'd like to be Superman" is very different from "I WANT to be Superman" one is a kid's fantasy the other is delusional).

You've heard these all before:
- "I'd like to go back to school" vs. "I wanted to get into the best school on the planet, did the work and got in"

- "I'd like to start my own business one day, but tomorrow I have to go back to work" vs. "it was so much harder and scarier than I thought but now I'm my own boss"

and so many more.

Wants drive have's. Having is how we turn wants into reality. Like's are fantasies and only stay in our minds.

I recently lost my aunt, and just found out someone else I know is dying of cancer. That mortality is making me think even more so about what I want in my life. And I noticed I don't have time for likes. My likes are evaporating and my wants are becoming more visceral.

So here's the questions - "What do you really want?" Only want things that are worth having. Only want things that are amazing. Only want things that take your life story in a different direction and will make you smile when your mortality catches up with you. Make that list now. Kill your likes, they are illusions, and go catch your wants

See you on the wire

-- Steven Carinale

Careful What You Wish For

That's a strange statement: "Be careful what you wish for" which is usually followed by "because you may just get it."  You would think that you'd only wish for things that you want, so why be careful in the first place.  Why would we ever wish for something you don't want?

I think that statement is simply a caution to our subconscious to think through what we really want. Not what we'd like, but what we truly want.  And sometimes our biology forces us to want things that don't serve us well. And how the hell does that happen? Shouldn't our biology want good things for us?  Apparently not.

Apparently our biology is filled with our mortal thoughts and mindless Gremlins as Rick Carson talks about in the "Taming Your Gremlin" book.  So maybe it's not us wishing for things but our Gremlins wishing for things on our behalf. It's our internal psyche biology wishing for something that fulfills it's needs but doesn't serve our soul. Our Gremlins ask for things on our behalf without us knowing about it (a kind of mindless request) and this is probably what the "careful what you wish for" statement warns us about.

Wishing for something, wanting something deeply, can be an integral part of manifesting that thing into reality. Of course you have to want it without being attached to the outcome of getting it (future post on letting go of outcome shortly).

So here's my question - "What have you wanted, asked the universe for, lately, and was it a mindful wish or was it Gremlin noise?"

See you on the wire

-- Steven Cardinale

Embrace the Freedom, Escape your Cell

Recently I've experienced the following from my tribe:

• I don't know what to do
• Please show me the way
• I need specific instructions
• Where am I going?

These all seem to be Spirits in transition; Spirits that are used to following someone else's agenda; Spirits that have been given the freedom they thirst for; and then Spirits that pull back from the Freedom they so desperately crave.

We're all Used To following old patterns: Used To having life served up on a platter while we sit in our own self-created cell; Used To living life the way we always have and can finally see a different way of living but are scared to embrace it.

We want the comfort of our old ways, the familiarity of our old addictions, the ease of our old patterns. In Geneen Roth's new book "Lost And Found: Unexpected Revelations About Food and Money" Geneen ponders "Why can't people have control over their addictions" while she is on her own compulsive frenzy.

It's hard to see that we're falling back into our self-created cells of past behaviors and addictions. Not just physical addictions but emotional ones as well.

I know for me I am much more comfortable living out my old patterns than pushing through to new ways of living. Embracing freedom means embracing the unknown, embracing the chance to do something on your own terms without the structure of personal or societal walls. OMG just those sentences alone are difficult to really swallow.

But a new life; a new way of thinking; a new freedom; is waiting for you just around the corner; if you can let go. Letting go means letting go of outcome; letting go of how things are "supposed to be"; letting go of preconceived notions.  What if you could? What if you could force yourself to? What would you do if you couldn't fall back into the safety of your old patterns, into the comfort of your old cell?  What if your old life was stolen from you and you were forced to create a new life?

So here's the question:

"What do you do every day that keeps you locked in your own self-described box?"
"What would it take for you to recognize the boundaries of your own box?"
"What one thing could you do to bring your personal cell walls into focus?"

See you on the wire

-- Steven Cardinale