Saturday, January 24, 2009

I Miss You

I've been crazy busy the past couple of weeks with travel, events, and the daily tasks necessary to keep the wheels on the cart. The past couple of days I've just started to settle down and get back to my daily routine. And although during the past whirlwind weeks I was very busy, I noticed there were things that I missed from my normal hectic life. Activities, places, and people who I started to think about and I felt a strong draw to get back to them. And this made me think:

"Why do we miss?"

What is it that makes us want to experience things we have experienced in the past? Some people live in the past and miss all the time. And some people live in the future and never think about what they had or currently have. I'm not talking about those extremes. I'm talking about missing some-thing or some-one or some-place because they truly made you smile, made you curious, made you excited and you want to experience that feeling again. They brought a brilliance to your life that was uncommon when placed against others.

In thinking about this, this post has basically become a follow-up to my Christmas Gifts post.

The friend of mine who wrote "How We Choose To Be Happy" said that being grateful for what we have in our lives is part of how happy people stay happy. And I think that missing is part of us acknowledging to ourselves the things that we are grateful for in our lives. And the empty space they leave when they are not there. So, how can we experience the feeling of what it would be like to miss the important things in our lives without having to have them go away? If you can truly feel the emptiness of missing then maybe, just maybe, you'll experience the gratitude of what you currently have, before it's gone.

So the question is: Can you imagine the feeling of the important things around you going away: The sights, sounds, smells, touch of those people, places and things? And if you imagine for a moment the missing, then you can imagine for a moment the gratitude.

See you on the wire

-- Steven Cardinale

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Christmas Gifts

Recently I had a chance to reconnect with an old friend of mine. I hadn't really had a chance to connect with her for several years. You know, kids, careers, family ... daily living spins its web of time and keeps you very occupied. But over the Christmas holiday I got to spend several hours with her and it was a gift I won't soon forget.

The gift was not just that she thinks differently than I do (which she does), or sees the world through a set of eyes unique and complementary to mine (which she has), or that she is both passionate enough and curious enough to explore crazy thoughts with me (which she is); as all of these would be amazing gifts alone. The most amazing piece was her desire to give me these gifts, free of attachments. I guess it was her appetite to connect with me that was brilliant.

It made me think of all the things we take for granted (including connection) as we spin through the distractions of our daily lives. A friend of mine wrote a book entitled "How We Choose To Be Happy" and one of the things he says is that happy people are grateful for what they have in their lives. Not that they don't want to grow, but they really feel a profound sense of delight in what they are lucky enough to experience.

As I go through my life's journey, I have become more sensitive to the gifts around me. And my friend's connection with me was a sharp reminder to pay attention to these gifts. Benjamin Zander (the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic) has a great talk on TED. And one of his comments is to "think about someone you love who is no longer with you". That comment is a great reminder as well of not to take things or people for granted and to really experience the gifts they have to offer.

So the question is: Who gives you a gift that you might be taking for granted? And how can you give them a gift back?

See you on the wire

-- Steven Cardinale

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